The Brainwaves of a Crazy Person

paleliar: reblog if you’re unhappy with the way you look and I’ll send you all a little message

Tue, 07 May 2013 23:13:05 -1000

paleliar:

reblog if you’re unhappy with the way you look and I’ll send you all a little message

Well im glad you're still around. Do you wanna talk about it?

Tue, 07 May 2013 09:48:55 -1000

I just really wish I succeeded, you know? I’ve lost the point of staying here..

I’m ending it tonight. I’ve done all I can do, said all I can say, and felt all I can...

Wed, 01 May 2013 19:46:38 -1000

I’m ending it tonight. I’ve done all I can do, said all I can say, and felt all I can feel.

I couldn’t handle it.

Goodbye.

jackfrostftw: epitomeofsad: transparent-alice: her dress...

Sun, 28 Apr 2013 18:43:50 -1000

jackfrostftw:

epitomeofsad:

transparent-alice:

her dress changes color to that of your blog

this is lovely

she has a snowflake patterned dress this is great

lepreas:

Fri, 26 Apr 2013 23:31:14 -1000

lepreas:

lilaira: linaliel: newhappything: Keep your eyes on the...

Thu, 25 Apr 2013 18:49:53 -1000

lilaira:

linaliel:

newhappything:

Keep your eyes on the cross

whatthfuck.

What the actual fuck?!?!?

kankri-butt: kankri-butt: so you say he can dance to...

Wed, 24 Apr 2013 20:23:11 -1000

kankri-butt:

kankri-butt:

so you say he can dance to anything

im laughing so hard why are people reblogging this again omg

Wao…

clarissadeathbattt: staring-at-the-waveee: baby :( i could...

Wed, 24 Apr 2013 19:21:05 -1000

clarissadeathbattt:

staring-at-the-waveee:

baby :(

i could tell this was going to be sad, but i watched it anyway and i regret it

Omg this is the saddest video I have seen..

one-hamburger: dicksp8jr: fionaaelizabeth: If corals get stressed they die, so if I was coral I...

Sat, 20 Apr 2013 11:31:50 -1000

one-hamburger:

dicksp8jr:

fionaaelizabeth:

If corals get stressed they die, so if I was coral I would be dead

what do coral even get stressed about

Current events

I’m so done with tumblr.

Omfg!!!! I have those!!!!!!

Wed, 17 Apr 2013 14:11:39 -1000

Omfg!!!! I have those!!!!!!

Photo

Wed, 03 Apr 2013 00:08:29 -1000

Photo

Sat, 30 Mar 2013 19:19:01 -1000

How To Make Love

Sat, 30 Mar 2013 11:42:07 -1000

How To Make Love:

chasingthathigh:

unexpectedbalance:

restoringfraillife:

cricketandperv:

violetsunnyklaus:

About seven years ago, all my friends my age got married. And about three years after that, they all started having babies, which set into motion the idea that eventually they’re gonna have to talk about sex to their kids. And that just freaks me out. I have cats—they were broken, but now they’re fixed—so I don’t have to worry about this. However, if I had the opportunity to suddenly be confronted by my son as a young man asking me for advice about sex… with girls… this is what I would say.

One: Buy condoms. Buy them and keep them with you at all times, and use them before you are asked to use them. And use them every time. The peace of mind you allow your partner will free her to be vulnerable with you, and that, my son, is exactly what sex is about. Condoms are sexy. In fact, call buying condoms foreplay. (Footnote: If you are too embarrassed to buy condoms, you are not ready to have sex.)

Two: Kissing is not merely foreplay. Spend entire evenings making out on the couch while fully clothed. Believe me, dry-humping rocks.

Three: Sex is not just about friction. It’s about emotion. Stop trying to find her clitoris and find her heart. Because then she’ll help you find her clitoris.

Four: If you really wanna know how to please a woman, ask her how she masturbates. Then do that. A lot. If she claims she doesn’t masturbate, offer to take her shopping for a vibrator so you can both learn the vocabulary of her body together.

Five: Don’t put anything in her butthole you wouldn’t want in your own. (Footnote: Try a pinky finger, it’s kinda awesome.)

Six: When you go down on her—and you will go down on her, and if you are my son, you will be amazing at it—tell her how good she tastes. Stop in the middle and kiss her deeply so she knows how good she tastes. Do the same when she goes down on you.

Seven: A simple Google search will yield 1,327 euphemisms for male masturbation, yet only 23 for female masturbation. If guys spent less time jacking off and more time jilling off, this world would be a happier place.

Eight: Everything you need to know about the importance of the clitoris is in the movie Star Wars. You are Luke Skywalker piloting your penis-shaped X-Wing Fighter deep inside her trench. Remember: seventy percent of all Death Stars cannot be blown up through penetration of the trench alone. It must be through focused contact with that little exhaust port at the top of the trench. Otherwise, any explosions you experience will be merely Hollywood special effects.

Nine: Just because you come doesn’t mean she has, so don’t you dare come before her. Focus completely on your partner. Don’t worry about gettin’ yours, you’re a guy. You always get yours. Your job is to make sure she’s gettin’ hers.

Ten: If sex with your partner lasts no longer than this poem, you are not making love. You are masturbating with her body instead of your hand. Shame on you. Go back to step one. You’ve got a lot of learning to do.

Love, Dad.

This guy’s writing is fantastic. And also OMG STAR WARS.

I love this. It’s hilarious and pretty interesting.

all the awards

Sir, YES YES YES.

Repost.. It’s too good!

What the fuck is wrong with my tumblr?!? I get a mesg thingy and...

Fri, 29 Mar 2013 21:28:52 -1000

What the fuck is wrong with my tumblr?!? I get a mesg thingy and it is a video that I apparently sent myself… This video. What the fuck!?!

the-absolute-funniest-posts: My lovely followers, please...

Mon, 25 Mar 2013 23:00:12 -1000

the-absolute-funniest-posts:

My lovely followers, please follow this blog immediately!

How To Make Love

Sat, 23 Mar 2013 06:54:51 -1000

How To Make Love:

chasingthathigh:

unexpectedbalance:

restoringfraillife:

cricketandperv:

violetsunnyklaus:

About seven years ago, all my friends my age got married. And about three years after that, they all started having babies, which set into motion the idea that eventually they’re gonna have to talk about sex to their kids. And that just freaks me out. I have cats—they were broken, but now they’re fixed—so I don’t have to worry about this. However, if I had the opportunity to suddenly be confronted by my son as a young man asking me for advice about sex… with girls… this is what I would say.

One: Buy condoms. Buy them and keep them with you at all times, and use them before you are asked to use them. And use them every time. The peace of mind you allow your partner will free her to be vulnerable with you, and that, my son, is exactly what sex is about. Condoms are sexy. In fact, call buying condoms foreplay. (Footnote: If you are too embarrassed to buy condoms, you are not ready to have sex.)

Two: Kissing is not merely foreplay. Spend entire evenings making out on the couch while fully clothed. Believe me, dry-humping rocks.

Three: Sex is not just about friction. It’s about emotion. Stop trying to find her clitoris and find her heart. Because then she’ll help you find her clitoris.

Four: If you really wanna know how to please a woman, ask her how she masturbates. Then do that. A lot. If she claims she doesn’t masturbate, offer to take her shopping for a vibrator so you can both learn the vocabulary of her body together.

Five: Don’t put anything in her butthole you wouldn’t want in your own. (Footnote: Try a pinky finger, it’s kinda awesome.)

Six: When you go down on her—and you will go down on her, and if you are my son, you will be amazing at it—tell her how good she tastes. Stop in the middle and kiss her deeply so she knows how good she tastes. Do the same when she goes down on you.

Seven: A simple Google search will yield 1,327 euphemisms for male masturbation, yet only 23 for female masturbation. If guys spent less time jacking off and more time jilling off, this world would be a happier place.

Eight: Everything you need to know about the importance of the clitoris is in the movie Star Wars. You are Luke Skywalker piloting your penis-shaped X-Wing Fighter deep inside her trench. Remember: seventy percent of all Death Stars cannot be blown up through penetration of the trench alone. It must be through focused contact with that little exhaust port at the top of the trench. Otherwise, any explosions you experience will be merely Hollywood special effects.

Nine: Just because you come doesn’t mean she has, so don’t you dare come before her. Focus completely on your partner. Don’t worry about gettin’ yours, you’re a guy. You always get yours. Your job is to make sure she’s gettin’ hers.

Ten: If sex with your partner lasts no longer than this poem, you are not making love. You are masturbating with her body instead of your hand. Shame on you. Go back to step one. You’ve got a lot of learning to do.

Love, Dad.

This guy’s writing is fantastic. And also OMG STAR WARS.

I love this. It’s hilarious and pretty interesting.

all the awards

Sir, YES YES YES.

A trap how? And nice star wars reference lol.

Fri, 22 Mar 2013 15:49:11 -1000

Haha who knows nowadays? The creeper virus is in everything lately.. Lol by the way I’m hoping you did read that in his voice and chuckled a little..

1 more day till my 5 day vacation!!! Finally time off of work!!! Time to catch up on 7 months of...

Fri, 22 Mar 2013 14:41:57 -1000

1 more day till my 5 day vacation!!! Finally time off of work!!! Time to catch up on 7 months of missed sleep and recreational activities!!

Mesg me for the story behind this picture.

Fri, 22 Mar 2013 14:24:06 -1000

Mesg me for the story behind this picture.

Photo

Fri, 22 Mar 2013 14:22:26 -1000